Working with a co-founder is like optimizing for a 10-year relationship
What we fight about?
- Money: Fundraising/runway
- Kids: Customers/Employees
- Sex: Performance
- Time: Roadmap
- Jealousy: Competition
- In-Laws: Partnerships
Four Horsemen
Things to avoid in a fight
- Criticism
Raising concerns about topic A and the other person brings up topic B
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Contempt Intention to insult Avoid making things personal.
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Defensiveness Not owning responsibility about a problem, not admitting there is a problem.
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Stonewalling Walks away from a problem
Make a plan before you fight
- Divide and conquer
Divide up the tasks by assigning roles/areas of ownership Determine what is success and failure
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Know Thyself What is your attachment style:
- Secure (Being vulnerable without and within others)
- Anxious (Not getting enougth love/attention) (Needs validation)
- Avoidant (Scared / wants to runaway since relationship are hard or can mess up) (Need space)
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Document a Process Create a process for dealing with disagreements.
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Use Non-Violent Communication
- Focus on universal needs
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Requests Vs Demand Make requests instead of demands
- Make it specific
- Say what you want
- Stay curious